Can't sleep

I know I need to go to sleep because I have early class tomorrow, but I can't get myself to. I think it's because subconsciously I hope Nathan will call me. I hope he is able to get is SPAWAR account set up, because I just would love to hear his voice :) I don't know if anyone else gets like this, but I literally have my phone on me at all times. When I'm in the shower, I'm thinking "What if he called!"

But I guess I just want to just free write for tonight. About love.


A professor once told me, 

Thank God for Love.

And at first I just nodded and said, yes, absolutely. But when you really think about it, Love is Amazing. Love makes you laugh. It makes you smile so much it hurts. It makes you cry until your heart feels tight. It makes you feel things. It makes you feel alive. Love is powerful. I could watch Nathan do something so mundane, so normal, and know for certain, that's love. Love is all knowing. You could be miles apart, but knowing that 2 hearts feel just as strongly for each other, that's what keeps the fire alive.  Love is making sacrifices. No one said this would be easy. No one said waiting for him to just email you would be easy. But we do it. Why? For love.

Love doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. When you're sad, let it out. When you miss him, say it out loud.

I miss you so much Nay.

Let yourself feel these emotions. That's love telling you it's okay. Because when you cry, that just shows how much you truly and deeply care about this person. That's how madly in love you are.

You know that feeling-minutes, seconds before you see him? When he's getting off the plane, when he's driving up your street. Those butterfly feelings that, even after years of being together, just seem to flutter back into your stomach every time? Yeah, that's love. Or how about that feeling when you're just watching a movie all cuddled up, and he reaches for you and brings you in close, and kisses you. Love is everything.

Love is in your prayers. We pray to God, knowing that He loves us. We pray to God, for our boys to be safe. We pray for little miracles. I pray to God to show Nathan, someway, some how, that I am thinking of him. And because God is there, I know what love is. Love is you and me baby.

So really. Thank God for Love.