In Japan!

I'm in Japan for 2 weeks! A great graduation vacation :) It's been really nice here, the weather is great, aside from the random rain today. The food is great, and of course, the best part is being able to hang out with my grandma. I wish everyone could meet her, we are literally twins in every way.

I don't know if its just being really far away from home, or just not knowing the safety of Nathan, but I find myself literally thinking about him every second of the day. During the day I constantly wonder what he is doing, if he's thinking of me, if he's safe. I can't help but think just terrible situations, and I try to just take my mind off of it by doing other things, but its so incredibly hard.
The dreams are the worst.
On one hand, it's great, I get to see him in my dreams and sometimes I just wish my dreams would never end. But on the other hand, it just makes me realize he is so far away, and I haven't even been able to give him a hug in 3 months. I'm not one to complain a lot about relationships. Most days, I try to tell myself being sad is not going to make this deployment go by any faster. It would probably make it feel longer than it actually is. But it really IS hard. And I am so thankful for all my friends who give me encouraging words. I understand when my friends say, "I could never do what you do." I think they mean it as a compliment, that I'm a strong person, maybe stronger than they are. But when I hear that, it just makes me think, "Well, it's not like i WANT to do this!" I would trade ANYTHING in the world right now, just to be able to hold Nathan's hand. That's all. Lately, all I do is just look through pictures, watch videos of him, read emails, but it's just not enough. I want new memories with him. & most days, I just feel like dropping to the floor, flailing my arms, and just balling my eyes out (which I probably have done and THANK GOD I have such amazing girlfriends who put up with it.) But i really do try to stay strong. Because what else can a girl do?
Praying really helps. I feel like God is trying to reassure me, to keep my sanity, but I still can't help but feel lonely. I mean, deployment or not, who the hell wants to be torn apart from their boyfriend, barely communicate, AND worry about their safety? & it's inevitable for me to feel jealous and envious of girls who have their boyfriends in such close vicinity. It's so hard though, to realize what an amazing thing you have in front of you, until it's stripped away from you. But of course, I know I should feel lucky to even have such an amazing guy.
And I think I struggle with what a lot of girls going through deployment go through, and that's the feeling of appreciation. I mean part of the whole process and the challenge is that, we can't be their #1 priority and they won't be able to put as much effort into the relationship as they could if they were here in the states (well I guess for me when I'm back home). We get it. But still, theres a little part of us that just wishes they could send that extra email, or surprise us with some flowers, or even dedicate a facebook status to us. It's that small flame that keeps the fire going. Because as cruel as it sounds, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one feeding the fire. And it's a really crappy feeling when you feel like you're the only one in the relationship. Because you yourself end up being the person that is comforting you. I mean in the end, you truly learn independence, what life is like by yourself, and being okay, with being by yourself. And that's something I am very grateful for. I've learned so much, not just in the last 3 months, but in the last 3 years. As most of you know, Nathan and I have been long distance practically our entire relationship. So we've definitely had our fair share of challenges when it comes to dealing with it. But we realized how important we are to each other and how strong our love is. And I know it, I really do, but the loneliness often times prevails over my strength, and I end up just crying. And as much as I cry ALL the time, I really really hate crying. I hate showing that I'm vulnerable and weak, but I guess that's kind of difficult when you are someone who cares a lot (some times too much) about people.
I suppose the only thing that can truly "fix" all of this, is when he comes home. *sigh* I just wish that day would come sooner. My dreams as fulfilled as they are with me and him together, are starting to feel more and more sad and depressing. I just need the real thing. I just want to feel his lips on mine, and no that the hardest part in our relationship is over and that we can fully move forward. Because I just feel like we're on pause right now. :/

Ah, sorry for the depressing post, I don't really know what I'm looking for.. answers? advice? pity? haha Well, all and all, Japan is fantastic and I will try to post some pictures very soon :)

Lots of Love and Semper Fi <3

Can't even remember the last time I blogged!

Oh my goodness, it has been too long since the last time I blogged! SO much has happened, and so many good things at that!! Well, first of all, a few weeks ago we did a Care Package making party for the boys of 2/5. Instead of sending them to random boys in his unit, I decided to take down some names of some of his friends to send to, that way it was way more personal. I was really lucky, and was able to use the help of my sorority sisters in making 9 amazing packages for the boys. We had so much fun making the packages, writing letters, taking pictures! Such a great way to bond with the sisters and do something nice for the boys over seas.

Nathans fans! :)

Oh heyy boys!

Silly!

One of the many care packages we sent!

Packing it all up!

yums for their tums!

Tri Delta loves the boys of 2/5

So that was exciting! And then I got to go to STAGE COACH- the worlds greatest country music concert! I had an amazing weekends with an amazing group of girls, and literally fell in love SO MANY TIMES over the weekends. Blake Shelton, Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Brad Paisley, Justin Moore, Miranda Lambert, Sara Evans, Martina McBride, The Band Perry, Sheryl Crow.. just to name a few. :) Lots of boozing and relaxing, I can't wait for next year!

The girls for the weekend!

A MAZING stage

Take me back already...

Whoa derr!

Tri Delta <3

But one of the greatest things happened yesterday. Nathan FACETIMED ME! I saw my boyfriends face for the first time in 2 months!!! It was AMAZINGG!!!!!!!! I was literally shaking while I was talking to him. Who would have thought, just seeing someones face moving would make you THIS happy!! Ahh, he is truly SO SO gorgeous!!

the LOVE OF MY LIFE!

Another fun thing I did was a sushi making party with 2 of my girlfriends, and we also did home made shabu shabu. I love doing cooking parties because 1. it's ALWAYS cheaper than going out for food, 2. COOKING IS FUN! 3. fun bonding experience. Then we watched "We Bought a Zoo" AND let me tell you, get some kleenex if you are going to watch that movie. The last scene is the killer!!!

Shabu shabu in the middle! Sushi on the right

Sushi station!

Lastly, so I'm pretty dang proud of myself for the latest care package. So I decided to make this one, the super random but useful stuff package. :) I know he was saying he was kind of getting sick of the candy, so I tried to send him some substancial food and some things to add flavor to his meals. I enjoyed it very much making this one, because I felt like it was stuff that really mattered. AND I added the video that I made for him and of course our very first movie together :)

Literally, I spoil the kid

Hygeine kit!

Apple sauce! How cool!

entertainment :)

Flava flave!

All packed and ready to go!

And my nice check list as always!

Things have been pretty awesome lately, and I think it's because God is great, and he truly is blessing us all the time, to show us his love. :) Obviously, not every day is fun, most days I just wish my boyfriend was here with me, but I'm learning to adjust with it. Him being able to iMessage me for a few days is definitely making the last few days REALLY easy for me. It's just like old times :) I can't wait until he is finally home and we can start our lives together.

Lots of love and Semper Fi <3

Secret project revealed!

So I finally have some downtime to blog again! :) Nannying is getting easier which is good! So some bummer things happened in the last few days... I wasn't chosen for the pageant this year... I was really upset when it happened, but when I was able to talk to Nathan about it, I felt more comfortable with the situation. He always knows how to make me feel better and knows the right things to say. And I know that God has a bigger plan for me.

Home made guac! Thansk ralphs for 3/99cents avocado!

I can't help it, I am a prisoner to Lemonade

Tried a breakfast place in Santa Monica on Ocean Park  with Amy :) [Zabies]

Lentils with poached egg

Didn't make this but isn't this the cutest idea!!! Oreo cookie in the center

But other than that, life has been great. I get to cook and try new things, which keep me busy. Nathan is able to call every once in a while, which is nice, but I definitely miss him a lot. I just hate that he has to miss all these moments in my life, but as long as he's safe, my heart is sound.

This past weekend, my friend Amy took me out on an adventure around LA! It was wonderful because even though I've gone to school here for 4 years, I really am not exposed to ALL of LA, and now I have so many new places I want to visit with Nathan when he gets back! We went to this one cake/ice cream shop called "Milk" Here is the Yelp for it
I loveddd their grass hopper which was a mint macaron ice cream sandwich with mint chocolate chip ice cream, and dipped in chocolate. DELICIOUS! And their sorbets taste like real fruit, its insane! It was like literally eating a frozen mango. I can't wait to try more little cute places in LA!

The store front!

Mmmm... so many options! Like the famous blue velvet cake!

"grass hopper"

Not at MILK, but at a small bakery in Irvine called Bon epi :)

So I'm trying to, every time I go to Whole Foods to get something I've never tried before. Because we all know Whole Foods has some really funky stuff! So this time I tried this "Iced Bhakti Chai" and it was DELICIOUS!!! I was debating getting Kombucha, but I'm glad I decided on something new.

Alright, so I know it's a big secret, but I made Nathan this video. And although now that its on YouTube he may find out about it, but I actually don't mind too much because he'll probably see it faster that way instead of waiting a month to get the hard copy! So I filmed this when I was at a family friends party, and it was inspired by another girls video to her Marine. I had so much fun editing the film, I can't wait to make another one! It's not professional or anything, just on iMovie but I think it'll make him very happy :) So Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=727m3Bwa8fw&context=C4af0793ADvjVQa1PpcFPb8zsnCwWyT-UP73wmMuNVhAx_H-h9e-I%3D

Cooking & Nannying!

Oh my goodness, I can't even remember the last time I blogged! I've just been so incredibly busy with my first week of nannying. It's definitely a ton of fun (mostly because I get to work with an AMAZING family) but I am EXHAUSTED. But I got paid on Friday which was fantastic. I went out and bought my parents some gifts because for the first time in my life, I CAN! And it is seriously the best feeling ever. I might be getting something for myself very soon as well :)

Alright, so over the week, I tried making stuffed bell peppers. Here is the original recipe.
I used Turkey instead of beef, but my one regret it, I needed to get BIGGER peppers! I had so much left over stuffing!

Cut the peppers in half, get the seeds out 

Boil peppers for 6-8 minutes

turkey for the healthy folks

TJ's for the win

ingredients for the stuffing (brown rice, onion, tomato sauce, ground turkey)

 cooking the turkey

and then add everything!

stuff the peppers!

wish they were bigger!

stick in oven for 30-40 min

voila!

I'm in love with cooking right now! I'll post my lentils for another post :) Also, things are looking pretty good for my future. A possible career in wedding planning? We shall see! 

Nathan has been at his base for a good while now which is great cause I hear from him at least once every day or two. He tells me how on post, he talks to the boys about how much he misses me and loves me :) Isn't that a great thing to hear from your boyfriend? The care package making party will be in a week! I'm so excited, pictures to come for sure! :)

Okay, I'm exhausted! Hopefully I'll have some more energy next week to blog more!

Lots of love and Semper Fi <3

Fresh new beginnings!

Alright, so I got to spend a week of not being a real person and it was great! But now to start full-time nannying for a while to make some cash money!

Some great blessings have happened this week! First of all, I got an Assistant Coordinator job for a wedding coordinating company I've been interning for!!!! So fantastic. Part-time but at least I'm getting paid for what I do now :) And then I got to hear from Nathan, which was FANTASTIC. I cried hearing his voice haha.

This past Easter weekend I spent with Nathan's family and family friends, basically my 2nd family! I love their home parties so much. I mean first off, its getting to eat tons of delicious Filipino food, but I also get to hang out with such an amazing group of people. It made me miss him a lot just because it was the first time I was at one of these events with out Nathan. But it was fun nonetheless! I also got to work on a little project for Nathan. It's still a surprise but here's some cute photos from the party.

Now for some Spring time resolutions! I have been SLACKING at working out -__- and eating healthy! I've definitely been pigging out so I'm going to start eating healthier. Something I tried today was a tuna and Kale sautee. Delicious! Will post pictures soon but its healthy, cheap, and SO good! Going to start my workout tomorrow, go running or some sort of Cardio! I definitely need it. Just printed out the Group fitness schedule for the quarter, and since I work in the afternoons I'm going to have to wake up SUPER early to make the classes. -__- more motivations I suppose!

Can't wait to post the video soon! 

Lots of love and Semper Fi <3

Package #3 is on it's way!

The last few days I've just been relaxing with my family. Went shopping, bought a few dresses and ate some really yummy food! Sushi twice in one week, I am SPOILED! I sent out CP #3 today! He told me that you can pretty much send anything, so I added some things he can try to use in his Jetboil. I sent him some soup, some "just add water" mashed potatoes and some rice (he can get creative with that). And of course some yummy snacks, a magazine, and some more paper so he can write me more letters! hehe I got a phone call from him last night which was wonderful, I just love hearing his voice, especially his laugh. I LOVE making him laugh, it makes me feel like I'm helping ease the stress of being away for him.

I'm super cheesy... lol

I know he's going to like this!!!

Some filipino food at the mall! BBQ pork, chicken curry, pansit and fried rice

Abalone sushi. Crunchy! nom!

I also stopped by a used-book store today. I could literally spend hours just browsing through books. Not just the novels and stuff, but the self-help ones (because let's be real, it wouldn't hurt to read those!), cook books, do-it yourself, journals, planning books etc. Here are some interesting ones I found!

Veggie patties can do no wrong!

Doesn't every girl kind of wish to do this?! 

Read Skinny Bitch! It'll make you want to go Vegan...for a day. 

I ended up buying one book and a DVD. The book I bought is called the Blue Notebook. It's a novel about a 15 year old girl from rural India who is sold into sexual slavery by her father. It sounds great, and Khaled Hosseini had some good things to say about it and i LOVED The Kite Runner. It was only $1!!!And then I got a little something for Nay. So 3 years ago, on our first real date, we went to go see "Four Christmases"(which by the way if you haven't seen it, is HILARIOUS), and that was the night we both decided that we wanted to go to the snow together and he promised he'd take me. And I think that was the moment I knew I was going to fall in love with this guy. And whadddayaknow, I sure did! So I'll be sending those along with some other DVD's like my film I did! :)

Love this movie!

If you are reading this I just want to end with PLEASE PLEASE send your thoughts and prayers for the boys of 2/5 Echo Company. They'll really need it this week. <3

Lots of love & Semper Fi <3