My first ever blog post! Hurray!

Well, I can't really remember the last time I had a blog... it was probably middle school when Xanga's were the thing? Anyways, a little background on why I decided to make this blog in the first place...
 A few days ago, I had to say the hardest goodbye of my life. My boyfriend is a proud US Marine, and he just left for his first deployment. We've been together for a little over 3 years and I am absolutely certain he is the love of my life. We've done the long distance thing before from California to Maryland, basically our entire relationship. He recently was stationed back in California (where we are both from), but it finally came time for him to leave. I thought that having this blog would be a good way to vent out my feelings :) The last few months have been hard, with all the anxiety and worrying about him leaving, and once he finally left, I felt numb. I cried so much the night he left.

It's only been a few days, and surprisingly yesterday and the beginning of today, I was doing just fine. I hadn't cried, I was keeping myself busy, I was laughing, smiling, having an overall great day. I truly felt like I can do this, piece of cake! right? Well, about an hour ago, it all kind of sunk in again. I mean, not entirely, but I'm definitely feeling a little down right now. I just, can't believe he's gone. Just a few days ago, we were at home, watching movies, being our silly selves, and now he's off to protect our country. I am so proud to have such an amazing boyfriend, but it is so hard to miss someone. You can't help but worry. It's a war. Anything can happen. But I just pray, and pray and pray... There is nothing we can really do but that. And hope for the best.

I am going to try my hardest not to cry, because when I cry, I just feel like my life starts crumbling apart. And I know, as long as i stay strong, it'll help him focus on the work he has to do. I just have to keep myself busy at all times, and sometimes, that is easier said then done.

It's going to be so weird going from texting/calling every day to never knowing when I'm going to hear from him. Thank goodness I got him an iTouch for his birthday, because now he can imessage me if he ever has wifi! (Thank you technology!). I think it'll become easier after I get my first phone call, and he settles in over there, and we start making a routine of things. Hopefully. I know that every text, every phone call is going to mean so much, and I want to cherish every bit of it. I just miss him so much.

If you have any good advice or just want to vent, feel free to post on my blog! If you are going through a deployment right now, whether it's a Marine, Sailor, Soldier, anyone. It's good to have a support system, I know I have a fantastic group of friends who are here for me when I am feeling vulnerable. The thing I tell myself everyday is, when I'm feeling sad or maybe feeling like it's unfair that we have to go through this, I just remember how lucky and how truly blessed I am to have found someone that loves me as much as I love them. And think of the fact that when you are with your man, that is the happiest moment(s) in your life, and no one can take that away from you. God works in mysterious ways, and there is always a reason for everything. This deployment can only make you stronger as a couple, and we will all get through this.

Sorry this was so disorganized, if you're actually reading this haha I kind of just word vomitted, oh well!

Lots of love & Semper Fi <3