Waking up at 5AM just so we can talk!

Well I guess the time difference is going to be an interesting one to handle! This morning my Marine was able to iMessage me at 5 in the morning! I was so excited to be able to hear from him, but i was also SO tired! But we got to have a few texts back and forth before he told me I need my rest. :) What a caring boyfriend I have. Even throughout the day we were able to text. It was nice because a lot of conversations tend to be about how much we miss each other and that I am praying for him, it's nice to have just cute flirty texts to each other as if we weren't a million miles a part. I'm sure I'll have plenty more nights like that one, but at least while he's still available to have wifi, it makes it worthwhile.

In a few days, he'll be pushing out to nowhere land, and we both have no CLUE what our communication methods are going to be like. I hope that we're able to email and skype, but I am preparing for not hearing from him for days or weeks. We decided we'll start letter writing, so I was going to send him some envelopes that were pre-addressed, so it would be easier for him :) Hopefully they'll have time to write, I started writing the first one already!

Today has been a good day. I've been just editing a film for my ethnocommunications class, hopefully it'll turn out okay! But after taking this class and everything that's been going on, I realized that I want to make a documentary on Marine Corps girlfriends/wives/fiancees/moms. :) I feel like there are so many documentaries about Marines out in combat, but no one really see's films on the women who support them! I think it would be great to hear their stories, struggles, and strength! If you know of any one that would be interested in helping me out, maybe being part of interviews, let me know! :)

Alright, less blogging, more editing...

Lots of love & Semper Fi <3

The tears finally came...

So after a few days of feeling pretty happy, strong, and that I could get through this, the tears finally flowed out of me like a waterfall. I guess I've just been building it up inside me, and one kind-of-sort-of crappy day will just ignite a fire inside you. Thank GOD I have such an amazing group of girls who've got my back, for reals. Esther is the best! It is so nice having someone going through the EXACT same situation (same unit, same company...meaning same deployment) because when certain days are lonely for me, more than likely they are lonely for her too! I think I just needed to let it all out. Being strong, independent, and supportive is a great and necessary thing, but every once in a while, we just need to cry. We're human beings, and we have to express our emotions some how. It felt really good to let it all out though.

This just proves that I'm about to embark on a 7 month roller coaster of emotions. Some days will be good, some days will be bad, but it's all about getting through each day. When I need to cry, I cry. I let it out and I move forward, because if we just sulk and sit around when we're sad, we'll never be able to get to our happy days ahead of us. And I know there are going to be a ton of those!

On a happier note, I discovered MotoMail! You make an account, and you're able to send a message or a picture to your marine, soldier, or sailor and they'll get it to them faster than snail mail! Hurray! If you haven't heard of it, create an account at:

Click here for Motomail :)

Another happy message! So Nathan's mom sent me this link for suggestions for care packages to send your marines! This will be very helpful for the do's and dont's to send :)

Click here for care package list :)

Alrighty, enough for today,

Lots of love and Semper Fi <3

No more moping around...

So as I was kind of reflecting back on my weekend, I realized, it mostly comprised of me, in my bed, doing pretty much, absolutely, NOTHING. Wow, and I thought I was doing great! But I guess I was unconsciously just being mopey and lazy cause I miss him. Well, no more this week. I need to be active with my life. I can't let sadness get the best of me so this week I plan to get things done! I'm really excited because it is my best friend's 22nd birthday this Thursday so we'll have a much needed girls night out!

I stayed up till pretty late last night waiting for Nathan to FaceTime me and he was able to so hooray! But now they are moving so who knows what the conditions will be like. Just pray for the best.

Here is a picture of us! Isn't he cute with no hair? :)

He's so bundled up in all his clothes! Well, off to start MONDAY off right!

Lots of love & Semper Fi <3

Top things NOT to say to a spouse/girlfriend/fiance during deployment

I came across this "Top things not to say to the spouse of a deployed solider", and although Nathan is in the Marines and I'm not exactly a wife, I CANNOT agree more with a lot of these statements. Although it does not happen to me that often because I have such an amazing support group who are not as careless as some of these statements, I've definitely heard versions of these said. It's not an attack on anyone at all, but I definitely feel that women who are not going through a military deployment definitely need to be more sensitive to the things they say. By no means does that mean to baby us, we are strong, independent women! For the most part, I'm lucky I am not around people that say things like this. But the take home message is key: sincerity is really the best thing. 

Often, people may attempt to empathize with the situation by saying one of the following:

“I know how you feel.  My husband was away for nearly a week on business last month.”

  Although, well intended, a short business trip is NOTHING like experiencing the weight of a deployment, which can last from six to fifteen months.

“I understand what you are going through, I watch the show Army Wives.”

The show Army Wives is not a reality show; it is a TV drama that is meant to mimic what writers believe to be true.

People may offer what they believe to be a compliment:

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“I couldn’t deal if my husband left that long.”

Hearing this is not a compliment.  The wife does not have a choice to “deal,” and, often times, they don’t know how they get through either; they just do it because they honor and love their husband.

Some try to offer support and look on the bright side of things concerning the deployment.

“Well you only have 9 months left. The rest is easy now.”

Having a portion of the deployment completed does not make the rest of the separation easier.

If he is in Iraq, “At least he is not in Afghanistan.”  OR

If he is in Afghanistan, “At least he is not in Iraq.”

Regardless of his location for the deployment, he is still in danger and still separated from his family.

Often times, military spouses are asked questions with obvious answers.  Would you prefer if she answers with a non-obvious answer?

“Do you miss him?”

“Are you excited he is coming home?”

“Are you scared he will die?”

On the off chance that the spouse has taken her mind off these thoughts, you have now changed that.

Others carelessly encourage,

  “But he’ll be home for Christmas, right?”

Military personnel do not get to leave their assigned deployment for Holidays.  They are granted only two weeks of vacation to leave and visit their family.  Only a fraction of them can visit home at any given time, including holidays.

Believe it or not, those close to military spouses will at times grow tired of their friend’s sorrow, saying:

“You knew what you signed up for when you married a soldier.”

“You knew that he would be deployed.”

Military spouses do not marry the military; they marry the man or woman that they love who happens to be in the military.  No one can ever describe to you what the weight of a deployment is like or “what you are signing up for”.

At times, some people end conversations by saying, 

“If you ever need anyone to help you with something around the house, give me call,” 

without leaving a phone number.

Typically, a wife is not going to reach out for help, especially when the offer is half-hearted.

Finally, some people just do not think before they talk.

“I am glad my husband isn’t in the military, because he could die.”

Believe it or not, people who aren’t in the military still die.

Throughout a deployment, the spouse of a Soldier endures a great sacrifice.  A script on how to converse with the spouse of a deployed Soldier does not exist.  The right things to say are not lines stored on a pocket-sized notebook, which can be pulled out in the necessary moment. Upon meeting an Army Wife, you should not feel as though it is necessary to try to relate to her.  Although you may feel it is socially necessary to comment on the Soldier’s absence, there is really no need to do so at all.

Support, encouragement and graciousness are appreciated.  However, there is a key to interacting with the spouse:  sincerity.

Be yourself.  Be genuine.  If you don’t know what to say, silence is acceptable.

If you pray, comfort the spouse by sending your prayers to the soldier and his family.

If you are grateful for the sacrifice, thank the husband or wife for what they are doing for your freedom.

If you want to help, be specific in what you are willing to offer, such as mowing the lawn.  Empty offers are typically all encompassing.  If you aren’t willing to rake leaves or bathe the dog, don’t say, “If you ever need anything, let me know.”

Be a friend.  Show the spouse that you care about who she is, without defining her by the deployment.

In the end, it is the honesty and sincerity that means the most.

Little things in life, that mean the most!

I was able to FaceTime with Nathan 2 days in a row! Granted, he's not even in Afghanistan yet, but an Air Force base near by, so I know this will NOT be how it is in a few days or weeks, but for now, I am the happiest girlfriend alive! They aren't living too shabby right now either! He just informed me he got to have steak and lobster for dinner, ummm excuse me? I don't even have steak and lobster...ever. I'm so happy that he is doing okay though, it definitely makes my day so much brighter knowing that he's not in combat.

So since I've been having such a great last few days, I thought I would write down the little things that just add that extra smile to my day:

- Home videos

 So if your marine hasn't left yet, try to take as many short home videos as you can! I have a few home videos of just us goofing around, me asking him to tell me why he loves me, or advice for when I'm sad, and they really make me smile and laugh. I rewatch them all the time, and it just reminds me of all of the fun memories we've had and we will have when he's home :)

- Make lists! 

I am one of those people who get really excited when I get to organize things, so lists are just so much fun for me. Start making a list of things to put in your next care package. What Nathan's mom and I decided to do was switch off every week sending a care package, nothing too fancy just some snackies, ramen noodles, gatorade packets. I'm sure all you girls know your Marine pretty well, and know those candies and snacks that make him super happy! For Nathan its sour candies, choco pandas, snap peas, dried mangos... just to name a few ;)Also, make lists of surprises and little gifts for him. That way, if you're at CVS or Target and you have your list, you can pick out cards, letter writing things, print out pictures, etc.

- Listening to music. 

So this one, either makes me really happy or really sad. Nathan and I both LOVE country music so when I listen to some of our favorite songs, or any song that has to do with being in love and all that good stuff, it puts me in a good mood. But sometimes it just makes me miss him more... so debatable on this one :)

- Do things for your marine, but do things for other people!

So I know we tend to focus a lot on our Marine, which is fantastic, but I always find it that spreading random acts of kindness to our friends, family, and even strangers give me a good feeling in my heart. Whether its washing your roommates dishes, volunteering, or making a card for a friend that's feeling down, trust me, it'll make you feel at ease, a happy heart, and keep you busy!

- Finding a new hobby! 

So for me its blogging. haha I really get excited being able to have something to do every day that's NOT waiting for Nathan to call or text. It just keeps your productive and busy and like I said, it's the little happinesses in life. But scrapbooking is great, I definitely still love doing that. Books, cooking, exercising, are all fantastic things to do. I have a fitness pass for my gym and every Tuesday, one of my girlfriends and I take a step class and its a great way to hang out with your girls and stay fit!

- Eat healthy!

I know this one sounds kind of funny, but I've always found it that eating a lot of junk food totally makes me feel even MORE depressed than I should be. I know the first thing we want to when we're sad is eat tons and tons of ice cream and watch chick flicks ( I mean, I'm not opposed!) but you definitely feel great when you're exercising and eating healthy! Your body and mind will thank you. :) 

Alright, so that's all I can really think of for now. But I'll definitely be posting more once I start getting in the groove of things :) Not yet in the crazy moments, but I'm sure I'll get there eventually. But thankfully, I have such amazing people in my life. 

Lots of love and Semper Fi <3

A Marine girlfriend's prayer

Just been searching for things that can give us hope and uplift our spirits and what better than a prayer. Honestly, praying has gotten me through so much, not just our relationship, but everything in my life. This school year has been incredible, and I have been blessed with so many opportunities, and I truly believe it is the Amazing work of God's grace. So read this prayer, and just know that we are strong, strong military girlfriends :)

"Dear Lord, before I close my eyes to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, his soul to keep. Keep him here, safe and sound. Keep his boots on American grounds. Allow him trips to go back home. Give us time for our love to grow. But when the day comes, and we're oceans a part, give him peace to calm his heart, give him sleep to ease his soul, and keep his eye on the goal. Show him miracles throughout each day, so he knows that I am continuing to pray. Surround him with angels and watch over his bed. Keep him safe so his blood isn't shed. Give him the strength to survive each day, knowing your grace is never far away. Provide him with memories of me by his side, so he never once doubts that I remain SEMPER FI. You see, Lord, this Marine is my friend, my love, my life... and I pray for the day that he calls me his wife. I know he must first serve your purpose, so I sit and patiently wait... But if something happened to him let him enter your gates, because you see.. God, he is a selfless and sacrificing man, he's already given so much for the people of this land. My lips he can not kiss, and my arms he can not embrace, he sleeps alone in his rack in a bare and confined place. He's missed his mom's cooking and the hugs from his nephews too, this is why he is part of "THE PROUD AND THE FEW." So please reserve his pass, tell Peter to let him in, he's already gone though hell, don't make him go again... But please don't take him from me yet, Afghanistan and heaven can wait, I need to grow old with him, I want to join him at the gates. Can't you see dear Lord? As true as it already seems, I can't live my life... Not without my Marine. AMEN!!!"

Tips for deployment!

So I've been looking up a lot of different "tips of getting through deployment" online, and I've found some amazing tips from some very inspiring young women. Here is one I really enjoyed:

1. Go with the flow and make use of technology (IM, email, pics, video cam). Use the time apart to get to know one another and learn how to communicate with each other in a way that not many people ever have the chance to develop.

2. Don't ever spend energy wondering if you two will grow apart or focusing on how much the situation stinks. Stand up straight and walk through the experience a little bit everyday. Above all, keep moving. Like a pastor of mine once said, "If you're going through hell, dont stop, keep on going!"

3. Dealing with deployment is at times, a very one-sided seeming experience because a man at war doesn't have the luxury of catering to your every womanly need. Don't get too hung up on your "rights" - what you've chosen to do will at times be nothing more than an act of selflessness. In no way equals the selflessness it takes to put your life on your line for another soldier--be grateful you are safe at home.

4. Always try to remember that no matter how hard it is for you, that he probably has a lot of the very same loneliness that you do, except he's also in a combat zone. Strive to accept these rough patches with womanly grace, not the grief of a child.

5. Don't sweat the small stuff or every detail of his communication pattern with you or the lack thereof when those times come (and they will). Relax and rest in faith that you WILL have the opportunity to talk to him again and the grace of another opportunity to interact again so that you two get back on course. I say this because you'll see many others panic in the sometimes choppy seas of deployment. Ride out the waves, sister, just as you might if you were lost at sea and remember that kicking and screaming when you think you are going to drown only brings you that much closer to doing so. Try not to lose your head, know what I mean?

5. Every time you feel like you want something from him to fulfill something missing inside of you, think instead of what you can do for him and the voids he must have being so far away from the colorful landscape of America. If you feel unloved or ignored or sad, do something that you think will make him feel loved, wanted, less alone. Instead of focusing on what things are like for you, try to think about walking in his boots a little bit every day.

6. Listen to him, accept him, encourage him, remind him that he's strong, send him lots of cookies, give him a break, and don't weight him down with unrealistic demands that he somehow be the kind of partner he could be if he were here in person. Concern yourself with how you can be his "friend."

7. Know that you too are a soldier of sorts. Take pride in knowing that very few women are woven from the kind of cloth that shrouds you. You were made strong when you were made for him.

8. When you can't touch him, sleep next to him, talk to him, laugh with him, or tell him you love him, pray for him.

I agree 100% with all of these! Reading these really reassure me that there are tons of women who have gone through exactly what I am doing, and they were able get through it! If you have any tips, comment below! And I'll keep posting more tips I find helpful!

Lots of love & Semper Fi <3

My first ever blog post! Hurray!

Well, I can't really remember the last time I had a blog... it was probably middle school when Xanga's were the thing? Anyways, a little background on why I decided to make this blog in the first place...
 A few days ago, I had to say the hardest goodbye of my life. My boyfriend is a proud US Marine, and he just left for his first deployment. We've been together for a little over 3 years and I am absolutely certain he is the love of my life. We've done the long distance thing before from California to Maryland, basically our entire relationship. He recently was stationed back in California (where we are both from), but it finally came time for him to leave. I thought that having this blog would be a good way to vent out my feelings :) The last few months have been hard, with all the anxiety and worrying about him leaving, and once he finally left, I felt numb. I cried so much the night he left.

It's only been a few days, and surprisingly yesterday and the beginning of today, I was doing just fine. I hadn't cried, I was keeping myself busy, I was laughing, smiling, having an overall great day. I truly felt like I can do this, piece of cake! right? Well, about an hour ago, it all kind of sunk in again. I mean, not entirely, but I'm definitely feeling a little down right now. I just, can't believe he's gone. Just a few days ago, we were at home, watching movies, being our silly selves, and now he's off to protect our country. I am so proud to have such an amazing boyfriend, but it is so hard to miss someone. You can't help but worry. It's a war. Anything can happen. But I just pray, and pray and pray... There is nothing we can really do but that. And hope for the best.

I am going to try my hardest not to cry, because when I cry, I just feel like my life starts crumbling apart. And I know, as long as i stay strong, it'll help him focus on the work he has to do. I just have to keep myself busy at all times, and sometimes, that is easier said then done.

It's going to be so weird going from texting/calling every day to never knowing when I'm going to hear from him. Thank goodness I got him an iTouch for his birthday, because now he can imessage me if he ever has wifi! (Thank you technology!). I think it'll become easier after I get my first phone call, and he settles in over there, and we start making a routine of things. Hopefully. I know that every text, every phone call is going to mean so much, and I want to cherish every bit of it. I just miss him so much.

If you have any good advice or just want to vent, feel free to post on my blog! If you are going through a deployment right now, whether it's a Marine, Sailor, Soldier, anyone. It's good to have a support system, I know I have a fantastic group of friends who are here for me when I am feeling vulnerable. The thing I tell myself everyday is, when I'm feeling sad or maybe feeling like it's unfair that we have to go through this, I just remember how lucky and how truly blessed I am to have found someone that loves me as much as I love them. And think of the fact that when you are with your man, that is the happiest moment(s) in your life, and no one can take that away from you. God works in mysterious ways, and there is always a reason for everything. This deployment can only make you stronger as a couple, and we will all get through this.

Sorry this was so disorganized, if you're actually reading this haha I kind of just word vomitted, oh well!

Lots of love & Semper Fi <3