Do you ever have one of those nights where you just have so many thoughts and emotions running through your veins? Words, phrases, sentences, just keep swimming through your mind, and it's like they're attacking you.
I miss him. I do, I miss so much about him.
I miss the fact that I can't tell him how I can't sleep right now.
I miss his laugh, I miss him being angry, I miss him being a total jack ass.
And, and there's just so much. So much I want.
I want to tell him things that matter,
I want to tell him things that don't matter.
I want to tell him how my hair was a total mess today, and I don't even care that he doesn't care.
I just, want him next to me, holding my hand, like we're in high school, like we're young, when things were so new.
It's all just wanting, and missing, and everything.
Desire, and love. I love him.
I was driving today, and just had a brief moment of conscious meets subconscious.
I just thought, no I realized,
damn, I really love this man. Like truly, truly love this man.
Like the kind of love, that when you close your eyes, tears just start pouring.
And the love that drives you crazy, the love that makes you feel a million things, and you can't describe a single one in words.
It's feeling like someone grabbed your heart, and is squeezing it SO tight, yet you know you it's pure bliss.
And that you'd do anything for this guy, anything.
Sacrifices, being pissed, being happy, being sad, being tired.
Anything.
Because you love him, and you can see every future and every past.
Because you love him so fucking much.
I stay up late, I wake up early. Hoping you'd call.
I want to not miss you so much. I hate missing you.
Why can't we just fast forward time.
Why can't you just be in my arms.
I want to want to get sick of you, but I can't.
And I may never get sick of you.
I love you that fucking much.
But right now.
I just...
miss.
you.
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