It's time to build a strong heart

So it's been kind of hectic trying to settle back in here in California. For the next 2 weeks I'm basically going back and forth from LA to OC, so much driving = so much gasoline = no bueno for poor Sara! But it's my last 2 weeks of my undergrad, so I have to some how live it up! Man, can't believe it's actually happening...but enough of the sappy stuff.
Today I started my 1st day at the gym! Nothing too crazy just running and some abs, I can't start too intense or my body is just going to break down. But it was good, I am really excited. Getting in shape is something I'm working on, especially before Nathan gets home! I've got about 3 months left, I think that's plenty of time to slim down! With the work out I'm starting to eat healthier! I made myself a delicious taco salad tonight for dinner.
*Sigh* So I haven't heard from Nathan (other than a Voicemail he left while I was in Japan) since about the middle of May :( At first I missed him SO incredibly much and my days were just sad and lonely. Now it's gotten to a point, where I can be okay every day, not to say I don't miss him, but it's more of an overwhelming amount of worry. I haven't NOT heard from Nathan like this since I've been with him. Even when we broke up for a little, he still incessantly emailed me, even when he didn't have my number (Crazy guy I tell ya! haha). So now all I can think of is their safety... Sometimes I forget that Nathan is in a war.  Maybe it's too much of those military movies I watch, but I can't help but imagine the worst. I just want to know he's safe, at this point, I don't care if he's not coming home for a few months, as long as I know he is safe from hard. I always pray for God's Angels to watch over him every day, and I know they are...but it's still so unnerving. I think in the last few weeks I went through emotions of anger, sadness, loneliness, bitterness, and even just empty. But after all this, I just realize how AMAZING it is to love someone this much...
I've learned so much from this love with Nathan. I think it's taught me to be an awesome girlfriend (not to sound cocky haha). But I feel like so often, people take their significant others for granted. Those stupid fights about being late to dinner or they didn't pick up the groceries, they are so completely inconsequential. I think it says something, when a girl waits for months and months, completely and utterly faithful, holding her ground back home, while she patiently waits for her boyfriend to come home. I think it's so wonderful seeing girls that go through the same thing as I do. Because you have to look at the guy, and see how incredibly blessed he is to have something SO good at home. And I would hope all the boys know that. Not many girls can do it. I've seen other girls cheat on their Marines and it's just the worst. Those girls are damn dirty. So I am very very happy to be that girl for Nathan.

"Cause God knows we're worth it."

So I'm building up my strong heart (Maybe with even a glass of Pinot Noir? :)) and I'll get through this. Thanks you again to all of you who give me such encouraging words, it really does make me feel better, even if it makes me teary eyed sometimes! haha

I found this fantastic blog site, if any of you want to check it out. 

Dear Deployment, I hate you!

All the quotes on that page make me think that someone is DEFINITELY sneaking on me! I absolutely love it! Here are a few that I find i relate to a lot:

When you wait days for a call, and then he's distant...remember the 3 hour line and 70 people in front of him and 8 failed attempts at getting his phone card to work. Remember his long hot day ,and stressful work environment. Not calling is easy, but he did it for you, even if he didn't have it in him to fake how he really feels. - DD

Sometimes everything about a deployment sucks. No advice helps. Time isn't going to heal all wounds, sometimes you have to be selfish and you feel like shit for it, but it's the way it is. Sometimes you just want to be acknowledged that you're going through a hard time too, but that never comes. Sometimes you wonder how there could possibly be any tears left. That doesnt make you weak. - DD

Remember when you're feeling unappreciated that we generally send care packages because WE want to feel more involved and not so helpless. WE want to feel like we have some control over making their deployment easier. But we also know that they generally have access to everything they want. Also keep in mind that we tend to do things for them that we would like done for us. We gather up all of their favorite things, with quotes, and notes, and songs. we write letters. remember that men and women are completely different and if you never did all of those things he would probably still love you the same, but you do it because you love him. so dont take it to heart if they dont have the reaction you would. - DD

Lots of Love and Semper Fi <3